Friday, December 25, 2009

Ah yes the holidays

Someone asked me about my first thought about x-mas. Inconvenience I told him. He then started to question my answer. Why? I mean when you don't want an answer contrary to your view stop asking them.

Anyway, after some discussion, leading nowhere, he asked if he could try another one. 'Don't blame me for the answer' I told him. In the corner of my eye I caught a glimpse of Nath and Hanneke, who is visiting once again, smiling at each other as if they knew what was to come. He asked me my first thought about New Years Eve. Wasting I told him. Well, he and I will never be close friends I'm predicting. He started telling me I wasn't fun, didn't know how to party and above all wasn't a romantic. I didn't feel in the mood for a verbal fight so I pointed to the two ladies that were accompanying me and told him to say the exact same thing to them and come back to me when they agreed with him. They laughed him off and I never saw him again.

People disagree. No harm in that but why would you get upset by a point of view that isn't based on facts.
1. The boiling point for water is 100 degrees Celsius. Fact.
2. 1 + 3 = 4 We agreed on that. Fact.
3. How I feel about Halloween? A point of view.
On 1 and 2: When I tell you differently you can argue your case. On 3: Let me have my thoughts, please.

Oh and the pics that came with the previous entry are a bit blue-ish. Our snow is white though.

Sunday, December 20, 2009

Snowed in (updated)

With temperatures below the freezing point and snow falling for a few days now (sometimes heavy but mostly light) we Dutch have learned that we no longer can cope with this. Cars crash, mostly because drivers are so self centered they fail to register their surroundings: "I was doing my normal speed and suddenly the car began to slide" DUH!
Also people have 'saved' money by not having tyres for the winter and so their slick summery tyres have to cope with the winter conditions. Strangely this doesn't go that well.

Trains have stopped their service because the switch points have been frozen. Yeah, just 12 degrees below zero (Celsius) and they freeze.... Budget cuts is what's causing this but the quick buck is now costing them more. Hindsight? Not really. I've a letter from 5 years ago in which I wrote the person in charge at that time that losing a days income would cost more then keeping the needed maintenance in place. Of course they are trying to talk themselves out of it but most of the regular travelers know. Shame really that those who got the performance bonus aren't held accountable after the deed.

So now I have to guess whether or not I'll be able to get to work tomorrow. I'm guessing I will be but it won't be pretty.

"Prepare for the worst so whatever happens can be dealt with easily" is one of my motto's. I wish that idea would have been more widespread.

Update: I didn't make it to work. I managed to get out of my street but the rest was even worse. Trains and coaches still not running

Monday, December 14, 2009

The house (2)

Decided today that the 1st week of Jan. I'll be getting the keys and can start doing what needs to be done. So I think I'll make a start with putting the stuff I need to take with me in boxes the coming weeks so that I can focus on the new place once I have access.

I'm appalled though by the amount of stuff you don't throw away but keep close by and then don't use even once every year. "It's handy to have" but is it really? So now I'm looking at gifts I got over the years and keep thinking "Would it hurt their feelings?" or "Will they notice at all?" I predict this is the first step in the progress of me getting rid of it all. I'm guessing in the end I'll feel me keeping all of the items is more of a burden then explaining why I don't have them anymore...

to be continued

Thursday, December 3, 2009

The house

So finally the financing for my new home seems to be in order. Just a few small things to be settled and then we can set a date for the transfer of the ownership. In case you were wondering why I need external-financing: I don't, but paying interest on a 1st home mortgage gives you a tax advantage and I would be throwing money away had I not sought external financing. And as I'm paying the taxes that create the opportunity to give tax brakes I see no harm in doing this.

I'm also discovering (again) that I get impatient when I can't understand why things move slow. I'm very patient when it comes to things that need time but once I don't understand why things move so slowly I get frustrated. Maybe it is an occupational hazard. My primary focus when working is to do things as efficient as possible. Cut out the red tape and let things move is my motto. With this financing saga I often have thought that had it been a business matter I would have said: "Too late, bye! We try it somewhere else." But it being a private mater changes my reactions. 

Anyhow, everything seems to be okay now so now we may be able to speed things up a little again. I want to start taking the ideas I have and put them into reality.

Sunday, November 29, 2009

We have fun

When we agree that men and women don't understand each other it paves the way for us to live and love together. I don't try to understand women. I either do or don't but either way I don't make a big deal about it. I've had many discussion about this with Nathalie. Why do women love shopping and why do men love sports? I have to say most of these discussion were started by her.

Anyways.. this evening we were out for dinner and at the table next to us sat a woman wearing a white blouse. Because of a 'strategically' placed lamp the outline of her breasts was clearly visible. Nath saw me looking and told me she knew what I was thinking. "Go ahead, guess!" was my reply and she started to tell me I was fantasizing about the woman's breasts and comparing them to hers. I almost spilled my wine laughing.
"Hun, you're right. When you would line up 100 men, accepting 1 in 5 is gay, that 75 of them would do that but I hadn't come to that point,...yet. I was wondering why boys are so much more obsessed with boobies then girls are. I mean we are both breastfed yet I was and am fascinated by them and you notice them but nothing more then that.
I'm not talking about the present where we are 40 years old and I only see them every now and then and you see them everyday but I'm talking about the teenage years. Is it genetically implanted? Oh, and thank you for the question. Now I'm comparing them."

While covering hers she could only let out a sigh.

Oh the fun we have hehe.

Sunday, November 22, 2009

think about it

My love,

I promise I'll stay with me your entire life
I hope you can do the same.

Houssie-ism, 11/22/2009

Friday, November 20, 2009

Yes, I like to be in control

I've mentioned it before. I'm easy going as long as most goes like I prefer or advice. So you can imagination my feelings once I learned that I need to do the whole mortgage and insurance application for my new home all over again. I pointed the mistake out at the time and asked if that would be a problem. No, they said as long as we both signed off on the correction all would be fine. Of course I have never in my life signed a contract before and run in to this *sigh*

Ah well what is a week and a halve compared to a lifetime. Still annoying though ;-)

Monday, November 9, 2009

Bought it

My search for a new home has ended. I finally found a place in a good neighborhood, not too big, not too expensive and where I can see myself live for a few decades. I won't say I will but I think you need to take that into account.

The more I think about what 'old' stuff I want to take with me and what will to be thrown away (don't worry some is still good enough to give to a second hand shop) the less is actually going to be with me in my new house.

At the moment going with me are: Clothes, Kitchen gear, Computer and my books, Perhaps I will take part of my book case. That leaves me to go new on Bed, couches, dinner table and seats, coffee table, TV-set and lots of little stuff. I'm trying to find the style I want but luckily I have a couple of weeks before the actual transaction of the apartment and a few weeks then before I actually want to move in.

Maybe you can call this a fresh start, some, jokingly, mentioned a midlife crisis but mainly I see it as an opportunity to create the place I want to live in.

More later.

Sunday, October 25, 2009


First of all: People should do whatever they feel they need to as long as nobody gets hurt.

But.... who said Lip filling actually is a making someone more beautiful?

I haven't come across a lip filling, maybe I didn't notice it and is this entire entry therefor useless, that I call an improvement. I'm really lost on this one. I've seen numerous attractive women making a caricature of themselves. I know surveys showing men generally find fuller lips more attractive but I haven't seen a survey yet that concluded that those with lip fillings now are more attractive. (I'm working on the perception that these fillings are done for us men, rather then the enhancement of a self-image)

Having watched an episode of Cold Case earlier I really feel the need to scream to whoever is contemplating having their lips done: DON'T DO IT!!
I found Kathryn Morris interestingly attractive but with her new lips that's gone.

Can someone please tell me what's with these fillings?

Monday, October 19, 2009

Sigh, what a week.

I got the fifty extra hours in but still am a little behind with my regular work. Luckily I was able to regain some of the missed hours of sleep during the weekend. And on top of that found some time to spend with friends, sharing a meal and some wine.

What bugs me though is that everything else in the world goes on as usual. Babies are born, Couples get married. And some unfortunately pass on. I'm sorry for those I did hurt but I can not care about these things when I'm working my guts out to enable a few people to get up in the morning and go to work.
I'm sorry your baby didn't get my full attention even though I feel I was more then sufficiently replaced by my wife. She at least does care about babies. I don't.
I'm sorry I wasn't able to attend your wedding but be honest. When you look back at your wedding pictures in a few years you will be happy that Nathalie is in them instead of me.
And I'm sorry I wasn't able to attend the funeral but I was securing last minute financing that morning. I did sent flowers though and I hope you appreciate the fact I found the time to arrange that myself.

Of course we all know I'm the center of the universe but even I concur it would be selfish to stop everything else in the world from happening because my schedule is a tad full. Just do not complain when events take over.

Monday, October 12, 2009

A reward from the Gods

I've been a good boy lately. I haven't offended anyone except for one slip of the tongue that was unintentional. I did no harm to anyone. I have locked myself inside during a flu/cold so I wouldn't transmit it to anyone else and I have loved those close to me. But .....

.... why did the Gods drop 50 hours of work, to be done before Thursday, in my lap when they know I have a full load already? Gone was the weekend I had planned. Gone is the time I had planned to resume my search for a new home.

After getting halve the work done during the weekend I sat down today with my assistant to see if any of my regular duties could be postponed. We managed to free up the staggering amount of 5 (!!) hours. (Insert a big GRRR here). So without a huge favorable development my days will be like this: breakfast, travel 1 hour , work 5 hours, lunch, work 5 hours, dinner, work 4 hours, travel 1 hour, sleep 6 hours. I've done this in the past but then I was young and eager. I thought I'd left that behind.

Thursday, October 1, 2009

I build ships

There is not a lot needed for me to assume I can do something. Only when I fail I'm pretty sure I can't, so having a dream, fever supported it may be, about building ships I now am pretty sure I can build them. Of course the fact I, most likely, can not will never be proven.

Usually when I dream I can not even recall having one but this time I had a dream and was talking and Nathalie was listening. According to her I was dreaming about building ships but was in my sleep fighting to keep awake so they would actually be build. With me asleep no ships would ever hit the water.

You may blame the fever. But I just know I can :)
(fever is gone now btw)

Saturday, September 26, 2009

Cold (2)

I guess my "Monday I'll be fine" prediction can be thrown out of the window as I now have a fever to compliment the cold. My legs feel dead, but I don't know if that's related to the fever or my lower back problems. And I never knew but you can have pain at the roots of your hair. Trust me, you can.


Friday, September 25, 2009


Darn, the yearly cold is passing by right now. Yesterday my legs started aching, then my throat became painful and at the end of the day I was really tired and had a headache. By then I knew what was in store for today and no surprise I'm now contributing to the theme song Blowing in the wind.

I'm looking for someone to blame. Who had the virus?
Should I blame anyone? I suppose if Nathalie catches it she will look at me and not in her usual loving way ;-).
Can the virus travel via the internet? I recall Deb having a cold earlier. Nah, I don't think it was her.

I guess either way I would have caught the bug and now I wonder why we don't have meds for this? Living healthy or unhealthy hasn't made a difference for me so I want meds.
Seriously I need meds now! And come Monday I'll look back and think: Why the drama?

Idle hope? We'll see...

Monday, September 21, 2009

Easy going

Today during our lunch at the office someone, who is hired for one particular project, said I wasn't as demanding as people had told her. She found me rather easy going. Two of my partners stopped eating and my stand-in secretary could hardly contain herself from laughing.
Seeing the reactions she went on that even people from other firms had warned her that I was not the easiest person to please.

Everyone at the table was now watching me, trying to catch a reaction of some sort but I must say I found it very amusing. The silence, I saw, made her nervous but I couldn't let her dangle for too long. So I told her I was probably the easiest person to get along with as long as you see to my demands.
It is very easy: I tolerate mistakes but I hate stupid mistakes. I don't take work too seriously but doing the job I take very serious. Not often I say no but there is no but once I do. And last but not least. I have an open door policy but betray my confidence and you'll see how nasty I can be. And I added that those who did were probably those she spoke to in other firms.

Often I don't remember what was said during lunch, even five minutes after. But a conversation and situation like this one just needs to be remembered. It's fun.

Thursday, September 17, 2009

Slip of the tongue

Honestly I meant to ask How many but what came out was How much.....

I was just hanging with some friends in a bar when a group of five women came in. It soon was clear they were celebrating the divorce and 45th birthday of one of them. I have to say she looked great and I started thinking about the many hearts she had broken while staying with her (everyone knew very quickly) betraying husband.
Anyways our groups mingled and the queen of the party started to look for wedding rings or better the absence of them. First she targeted a friend of mine but he quickly got rid of her when she asked Wanna F@#k?. Now, Oh joy, I got her attention but still with my original train of thought and that combined with her question for my friend I didn't ask How many but How much.
I barely escaped her attempt to slap me.

I don't need to explain why the groups quickly separated I guess but I'm glad Nathalie appeared shortly after to pick me up.

Thursday, September 10, 2009


1. My English is deteriorating with the lack of communication in English these days. Perhaps I should grab myself some English books again to keep trained.

2. I don't post in here for the reactions but none is not satisfactory either.

3. Haven't seen or talked to Holly online for weeks and Denise for more months then I want to count.

4. Had a fly on speed in my living room earlier. His wicked flight pattern ended when he landed on a lamp. He ended too.

5. I'm not good in keeping in touch with friends. Some say I need my gf to have a social life. It is not that I'm not interested in their lives. I wait for them to share instead of asking about it.

6. Poker is essentially boring but gives you room to answer e-mail during a game.

7. The Cubs for 2010.

8. My search for a new home takes longer then I anticipated. I guess I'm more critical/choosy then I thought I was.

9. General internet communities are hypes and way overrated. Niche communities however seem to have staying power and depth in conversation.

10. I need to use more 'Houssie-isms'

Houssie-ism for the day: Walking upright makes falling down a lasting experience.

Sunday, September 6, 2009

Scary ?

Nath woke me around 3 o'clock with stomach pains. At first I asked if I should rub it but it soon became apparent that she was in real agony and really stressed about it. She said it was the same pain she experienced 10 months ago and was afraid the same thing was going to happen.

This was the first time I saw a real sign of how much an impact this whole saga has had on her. I know we don't look our best at 3 AM but she seemed to have aged quite a few years overnight.

She wanted to rush to the hospital but I could prevent her from doing that. Last time around the pain she had wasn't caused by the cancer but led to the tests that showed she had it. I also pointed out, looking back I realize how harsh this may sound, that a maybe bad case of gastritis was no reason to let several people lose their deserved night rest over. The doctors and nurses would be there in the morning. I would happily stay awake and at her side but running off to the hospital just sounded a bit too much to me.

Around 6 AM the pain and stress levels lessened and she fell asleep. I dozed off around 9 for a few hours and when I woke she was up and running again. I asked if she had made an appointment yet but she was back to her confident self again telling me there was no need for that right now and that she would make one after the weekend. She even looked a few years younger again. ;-)

I often wonder what is expected in a relationship. Do you hit the brakes when your partner goes off? Do you reason when she feels badly done by? I guess this is the million dollar question and even though I know that all I can do is be what I am at such a moment, it leaves me uncertain somewhat.

Tuesday, September 1, 2009

Too late

In my line of work we, more often then not, are called upon after the the crucial window of opportunity. Having a shield at the door that says Business Consultants somehow reads "The Great Houdini Business Corporation". Expectations are often too high and I've been known to decline assignments. Of course a problem is merely a point of view and solving problems is a creative challenge I long for so I've taken the one lost cause every now and then.

Eight months or so ago we got a knock at our office door and there was my lost cause for this year. It came in the shape of a 5'4" balding guy who instantly had my sympathy. He came bearing all the signs that should warn me but still I felt the need to reach out and try to help him. The typical great idea, bad businessman kind of problem.

This Monday we locked the doors to his offices solely because I've failed to get through to him that without a partner that knows how to run a business he had no chance. Those that look down know I tried and tried but every time I ran into the wall that says: It is my idea. I don't want others to get rich whilst I pay off my debts. I have to be in control.
Well in the end no one is getting rich, fifteen employees are out of a job and he is stuck with a huge debt for the rest of his life. And no doubt he is blaming me for not solving his problem.

I can not make miracles happen I'm sorry. I can however in a somewhat unorthodox style reform businesses. That I have proven. Only thing they have to do is what's given as advice take as an order. ;-) 

Monday, August 10, 2009


I haven't written much about work lately. Not that I'm not doing any, au contraire. It is just that I find it hard to write about it. It usually isn't personal but at the same time it isn't about total strangers either.
But a story is developing that once finalized will be one to put up here. It is still in the balance whether or not it will be a good or sad one but it sure is interesting (for me) to be experiencing it.

Health: Good
Sleep: Always needed but never taken enough
Food: Satisfying level
Time: 24 hours in a day and nuttin I can do about it.
Mood: Cheery
Love: Yeah!

Saturday, August 1, 2009

Gay parade

Nath and I went to the Gay Parade in Amsterdam today because a colleague of mine had invited us. While she took part in the canal parade we enjoyed the festivities. Afterwards we went with a small group to a restaurant and of course the discussion was all about why and whether or not the parade should still take place every year. My point of view is simple. As long as people are offended by same sex couples the parade should take place because it puts across the message that gays, even though the parade is one big acting out party, are a normal group of people we share our living space with.
I know there will always be people that are offended or uncomfortable by it. And as much as I disagree with them they are free to do so.

I also have to follow up on my last entry because last night my phone rang and Saskia asked if it was okay to come by. I saw nothing wrong with that so I said she could come but also that she couldn't sleep at my place. I forgot to add why she couldn't but she'd find out soon enough.

Anyways when she came in and saw Nath there she was a little surprised. She had brought a bottle of wine to thank me for listening the other night and I quickly poured us all a glass. After some small talk Nath brought up Saskia's attempt to thank me last week. Sas was shocked to hear Nath knew about that and my last contribution to the discussion was: "Yeah, I don't see why I wouldn't."
After that I only could sit back and watch what happened before my eyes. Nath not jealous but certainly protective gave her a telling off that I didn't know was in that sweet woman. Sas, obviously uncomfortable by the situation, tried to argue her case but it was something like taking a rubber boat out to sea during a hurricane. I felt sorry for her.

"So, I don't think she will undress herself in your living room again." Nath said after Saskia had left rather quickly. "That's a shame but I think you're right." I replied with a smile.

You can say I love you a thousand times but such an action really brings it home.

Sunday, July 26, 2009

Odd what listening can cause

I'm gonna speed-blog here because this would become a very long entry otherwise.

Last week I was coming home from work a little late and decided not to cook myself but grab a bite on the way. I was about to stop at a small restaurant I often visit when I am alone when I heard someone call my name.
A friend of mine, Saskia, who recently got divorced, had spotted me and the body language suggested she wanted to talk to me. I waited for her to catch up to me and discovered Sas obviously had something to get of her chest because she just wouldn't stop talking. Making sure I would have anything to eat that night I invited her to join me.

Without getting sidetracked too much I need to say I find her still rather attractive and some twenty years a go we danced around each other for a while and shared a few drinks but it never came to anything serious.

Anyways, two hours later we left the restaurant and as our homes are in the same direction we ended up on my doorstep. I expected our ways would separate here but found myself asking her if she would like to come up for a drink.
After opening the second bottle I thought it would be better that, instead of riding home, she'd spend the night at my place. Sas agreed and I called Nath to let her know what was happening. She understood my thinking and wished us a happy night and sweet dreams.

Now so far this isn't really unusual or blog worthy but when Saskia asked if she could shower before we went to bed and I allowed that, it did become just that.

One moment I said yes and the next her clothes were coming off. I told her to go to the bathroom but she said she wasn't shy and the next thing I saw was Saskia parading naked in my living room. Great body still. After her shower and her coming back into the living room naked I thought it would be best if I took one to. Just to buy some time.

When I came out I was glad she had put on her bra and panties again. We went to bed and I kissed her goodnight. She said thank you. Ten or fifteen minutes later I was still awake thinking over what she had told me that night and what I had seen when her hand came to rest on my chest. I thought nothing of it and fell asleep with her hand still there.

Not long after I woke again because her hand had shifted to a place more intimate. I told her not to but she said she wanted to thank me for the listening. I again told her not to. Her hand disappeared shortly after that.
When the alarm went that morning she leaped out of bed saying she would make breakfast for us. I went into the bathroom to shave and wash. When I came out of there just wearing briefs she had managed to make breakfast but also lose her clothing. She was fully naked again.

"You're sure you don't want me to thank you for last night?" she said looking straight at my lower regions.
"I'm sure. You can thank me some other day some other way."
Still focused on my hip-region she said: "I can see you're not 100% convinced."
"Well I am convinced it would be better for you to get dressed and get out of here. This isn't going to happen."

Fifteen minutes later we said our goodbye´s and now I'm thinking about Nathalie's reaction when I told her about the events of the night. "You're stupid and I love you for that."

Have a great week.

Monday, July 20, 2009


I'm not going to argue about Lance being the greatest cyclist ever. He is not. Merckx will never be trumped and both Hinault and Indurain have equally impressive (even more impressive according to some) résumés. But ever since he beat the then 3-times Tour and 2-times Giro winner Indurain during the 1993 World Championships in Oslo I've been following him. Sometimes admiring, sometimes cursing but always acknowledging his talent.

I recall him coming second twice in Liege-Bastogne-Liege, the grand old Lady of cycling.
I recall him coming second twice in the Amstel Gold Race, 1999 and 2001. Beaten both times by a Dutch rider and both times being utterly disappointed and frustrated yet understanding that cycling is a cruel sport.
I recall him coming second in the Clasica San Sebastian one year but winning it the next.
I recall his 7 consecutive victories in the Tour.
I also recall him changing cycling forever by targeting just one (albeit the biggest) race during the season. Leaving all other potential winners to follow suit and by that degrading other 'tours' to mere preparation.
But by the time he retired he was one of cycling greatest.

When he announced he was coming out of retirement I was sceptical. On one hand you have a great sport and on the other a great cause. But the sport is a professional sport and with Lance riding without pay but for giving his foundation even more attention I was not sure he wasn't making a mockery of the sport. I can now say he hasn't. He proved and still is in this year's Tour that he has enough talent left to compete, maybe not to win but to compete at least.

I'm still not sure whether or not he should have been making a comeback at all but that was for him to decide and for me to admire or curse about. Let's hope he won't get hurt (short and long term) doing so.

Saturday, July 18, 2009


"Hey Nath, I never asked you but do you mind me journalling about us, you etcetera?"
"This is going end up on-line also I guess, but no I don't really. As long as you keep me kinda private your journals just give me even more insight into your thought pattern. And you did cut back on the sex(y)-stories with me in it so that is less of a worry."
"Yeah, I do less of those these days, don't I? Perhaps I should tap that channel more often."

The other day I got an email in which I was credited with esoteric views on life. I spilled my coffee when I read that. Mostly because in my world esoteric translates to a more unattached from reality kind of lifestyle that includes palm readers and spiritual meetings. And I don't see myself like that.
So I asked Nath if esoteric had any other meanings in the english language. After al she got a degree for studying it so she should be able to come up with an answer. She told me it could mean mysterious or enigmatic, not the normal view and thus a little strange.

I think I like her translation better. So I'm sticking with her. ;-) but before she gets really comfortable and all, I will say we had great ... last night. And I will share details if she gets out of hand. LMAO


Saturday, July 11, 2009


First of all let me stress that there are bigger dilemma's in life then the one you are about to read but still it can be an awkward one. And yes I may be making this even bigger 

You've replied to a friend's email and expect it will result in a reply by her but with days passing your email box stays empty.

Do you:
1. Wait. Running the risk she missed or didn't receive your email. Maybe even leaving her asking herself why you didn't reply.
2. Re-send. This could be conceived as being pushy. After all she could have a good reason (busy/away/etc.) to not have replied yet. But re-sending also could underline you really care.

So facing this dilemma I decided to blog about it. Hoping she'll read this and, knowing her, will understand I'm writing about her so she can contact me.

(I've explained in an earlier entry I sometimes think differently. This can result in over-thinking as well btw)

Wednesday, July 8, 2009

Scary I am

I think I scared my account manager at my bank. I called him and asked for an appointment. He said sure and asked for my details. Once I gave them to him and he pulled my file he went silent.
And then came up with: "Uhhh, is there anything wrong? Has something happened?"

I told him no and no and said I just wanted to make an appointment to go over my business with them. "Okay, we can make an appointment but you're sure there is nothing wrong?" Once again I said no and we now will meet tomorrow morning at 9AM.

I guess not being in face to face contact with them for 15 years and now all of a sudden wanting a meeting makes them wonder what I'm about to do. Closing my accounts wouldn't go down with them smoothly I guess but I'm not an airhead who thinks it would 'hurt' them. All I really want to do is go over my personal accounts and establish my possibilities as I'm looking for a house to buy. But why tell them right? That's no fun, hehe.

More on the house buying later I think. G'night.

Saturday, June 20, 2009


My views on life keeps raising questions. Although I see myself as a private person, and rather raise an eyebrow or mumble a hmmm then start preaching the gospel according to H, I don't shy away when asked about it. You can get the whole A to Z if you want it.

So I decided to write about the FAQ's.

FAQ: Why don't you marry that woman? Standard answer(SA): First of all that is a much her as my decision and second did you yourself decide marriage is a higher good or are you influenced by the popular view?
The only bonus I see in marriage is the fact that married couples legally have an advantage over unmarried couples. Lots of legal issues are set in stone for couples that are married whilst unmarried couples have to go out of their way to achieve that. Maybe a wrong that needs to be righted?

FAQ: Don't you want to have kids? SA: No, don't want the responsibility.
Follow-up FAQ: Do you know what you're missing out on?: SA: I think I do and therefor think I'm not missing out.
I think there are enough people on this planet as it is and quite frankly I don't want to lose the hours I can spend on my own or with my woman. Selfish perhaps but for me healthier for sure.

FAQ: Why don't you have a car? SA: I don't have a license.
Follow-up FAQ: How do you manage without one? SA: Up till now pretty good. Otherwise I would have gotten one I guess.
I know it depends on the country you live in and that driving a car gives you a certain freedom but I managed,  and made choices to allow for that, to do without one. Sure it takes me a few more minutes to go from A to B and occasionally I need to ask a friend for help but I never came to the point that I felt it was time to get a license.

FAQ: You don't care about status do you? SA: Actually I do but I don't think it is gained by a big car, flashy jewellery or fancy clothes. I think actions, past but foremost present, give you status.
For me it is simple. I'm the boss. Everyone knows that so why should I dress up to accentuate that? Why would I wear a $ 1.000 watch when I don't need one. I actually don't wear one at all. When someone feels happier dressing up and showing off the watch kudos to them for doing it but it does not in any way grant them any status.

FAQ: You are weird. Do you know that? SA: Different is a better word.
I sometimes think that at a young age we are all brainwashed to act and react in a certain way. A few of the names that float around that you probably heard of about this phenomenon are parenting, education and upbringing. In my case it didn't fail but the part where they said you need to think things through and then make a decision was the part that took the most influence. I don't say others have gotten it wrong I'm just saying that I think a little different for the large majority and look at our world from another angle (sometimes).

If any of the readers have another question they want to ask me you know how to reach me. 

Sunday, May 31, 2009

Sitting on the fence

Sitting on the fence. Watching the masses pass.
Thoughts flow accordingly. Nothing stands out.
Blue shirt. Black dress. It is all grey.
Gladly there is an end to this day.

Sunday, May 10, 2009


"Hey Nath, I was thinking." "Arghhh, you know you shouldn't do that in your condition." "Huh, did I miss something?" "Well, you are a man, are ya?"

Clearly she was in no mood to enter into my world of thoughts. ;-)

Forward an hour or two spend mostly in silence, reading books.....

"Who are you waving to?" "Oh just the neighbour passing by for the 6th time getting a glimpse." "What! Why didn't you say something earlier? I would have put some clothes on." "Yeah, that was what I was thinking a few hours ago."

I couldn't help showing a big smile.

The last months have been interesting, dealing with the surgery and the changes it has caused. We have been trying to find out what mentally and physically does or doesn't work anymore and testing some new ways that might have opened. But I think we are slowly settling into a rhythm we are both comfortable with.

Btw I joined her in the shower moments after the above happened and she allowed me to wash her back (smile) so all is good. he he.

Tuesday, April 28, 2009


"H, did you hear the rumour about his death?"

"Rumour? I'm pretty sure we just buried the guy so that must be one hell of a rumour."

It certainly gave me a chuckle. ;-)

Sunday, April 26, 2009

I don't get it.

I hate it when I'm having a private dinner and a friend walks into the restaurant and invades my space. I don't mind acknowledging each others existence but I do mind coming up to the table and starting a long conversation. Even worse is keeping drinks getting send to your table after that and having to return the compliment. That's stalking.

So on friday when Nath and I went out to one of our favourite restaurants and I saw a friend of mine sitting cosy at a corner table with a female companion I just nodded and went on to sit at our table making sure that my back was towards them so I wouldn't let my eyes wander towards their table. I thought it to be a very polite gesture but somehow it was understood as it being quite the opposite.

I don't get it. We walk into the same restaurant looking for a private dinner but because we walked into the same restaurant we both can't have one? What kind of silly thinking is that? Does the bond we share have to be strengthened every time we see each other? Doesn't the bond become even stronger when we leave room for our own life's?

Nath says the world isn't ready for the full Houssie view on being social. And I guess incidents like these justify her view.

Friday, April 17, 2009

Am I better because you are worse?

Why is it that at someone elses expense jokes are made? Not the practical joke because set up right anyone can be the victim of those. I mean the jokes targeted directly at someone specifically. I never got the idea that when I made someone else feel bad I should feel better. Surely I have made fun of people but never with the intend for it to be malicious.Should I want to feel better I rather make a joke about myself. Others then assure me it is not so bad and I feel better LOL

Maybe it is insecurity or low self-esteem that drives people to make these jokes but the object of the joke never is a person that has the ability to defend properly. Some people just don't have the quick tongue or wit necessary and for those I did my good deed (spelling?) of the day.

A guy that tags along with one of my friends was making fun of someone while we were having a drink. Suddenly I felt it was enough and with two clearly spoken en razor sharpe sentences I burnt him down to the ground. The group went silent in wait of his reaction but his face was just frozen and all he did was produce a little stutter. He left a few minutes later without saying goodbye. One of my true friends asked: "H, what took you so long?" "I had to finish my drink first." And on we went into the night.......

Any spelling mistakes or bad worded sentences are to be discarded as said drinks have had the effect of making my head feel light. Sleep tight and don't let the bed bugs bite. (in reference to an article I read this week about some bug becoming a problem again)


Saturday, April 4, 2009


Last night we heard our neighbours slam doors and scream at each other. I looked at Nath and wondered why we never had such fights. I so do want to slam the occasional door LOL. But seriously we just don't have those kind of fights. We argue over and disagree on many things but we somehow can agree on disagreeing.

When we argue over facts it is easy to verify those and you just say you were wrong. There is no shame in being wrong but there is shame in being proven wrong but wholeheartedly standing your ground.

Also I think that us not living together full time gives us room to not make issues about everything we disagree on. Because of the limited access we have to each other the small issues stay small issues and we carry on enjoying each others company. When it is a big issue we argue about we have time away from each other to reflect and nine times out of ten come to the conclusion it is after all not worth fighting over. The love is bigger then the disagreement.

12.5 years and no real door slamming fights or name calling arguments. Shouldn't we be awarded or rewarded for that?

Thursday, March 26, 2009

Aim high or aim low?

I've been thinking about what is better: Aim high or aim low? Overall the first thought is aiming high is better. Then you get things done, then you give yourself challenges to be successful but aiming high can sap your enthusiasm because disappointment is right around the first corner.

No, after thinking about it I think aiming low is better. Aiming low is setting targets that can be reached and with that satisfaction can be achieved. Once you progress from that point on you feel elevated, you're achieving something. Of course you need to keep going after reaching the target. The target is never the end. The target is the absolute minimum and sitting back when you reach it sort of the equivalent of doing nothing. Some people are satisfied by that but it will not help them go forward.

Today I had meetings with two managers in the same company. They didn't know I was assessing/interviewing them for a position that will be available in a couple of months. They just thought I was following up on the plans we made for this year and the targets for the next. One had reached his target for the financial year that ends April 30th. He had plans to go on holiday. He had done his bit this year. The other will reach his targets mid April but is looking to initiate some campaigns that will help him surpass the initial target. His words: "Then we really earn some money."

There is a third candidate by the way. But I've mentally crossed him of my list. He is the guy that doesn't reach his targets this year. I have to say HIS targets because mine weren't ambitious enough for him. He aimed 'rather' high and then began hiring people to make that happen. Half way through the year he asked for even more personnel but that request had to be denied and he had to be told to cut costs rapidly to not go into the red.

Of course when candidate number three had succeeded he would have been the top earner for the company but the way I see it a company should take calculated risks and not ego-tripping risks. You will not earn money quickly that way but you'll earn money continuously and continuity is the bread and butter of doing business. So aim low but go forward from there is my advice and number two gets my vote.

Friday, March 20, 2009

Not sure what to call this




"11 or 13?"






"Yep going next week."

"Makes sense."

The above is a conversation I had ealier today with a friend. We often have these kind of 'battles'. Downside is people around us give us strange looks.

Monday, March 9, 2009


With life back to normal events are back to normal as well. And so it can happen that one night after testing the strenght of the bed you both are trying to catch your breath and staring at the ceiling when she suddenly asks: "Are those shoes new?"

"Umm, yes." I answer rather surprised by that question. "Didn't you buy a new pair two weeks ago?" "Umm, yes." I start to wonder where this is going. "So you've spend $400 on shoes recently?" "Umm, yes. " And then it hits me. "What have you bought that you now feel safe enough about to tell me?" "Oh, it's nothing. Just some clothes I needed. And some shoes." "Dare I ask how much?" "You don't want to know." I agree I don't.

Including the two new pair I bought I now have 4 pair of shoes. The old ones I threw away because if they had been good still I wouldn´t have needed new ones, right. Life is simple that way but I'm told that this only applies to men. Women need at least 14 pair and that is the absolute minimum. And, and this is where their thinking goes wrong, men are to blame for that. In fact the blame is in their own court. They read the magazines, not us. They make those magazines, not us. And last but not least they in a strange way do only when it comes to fashion appreciate our opinion. Heck, our opinion equals any God´s words when it comes to fashion. Well not all our opinions. When you say you don´t like it, it does. But when you say you like it you´re not paying attention or lack knowledge.

And that´s why I agree. I don´t want to know but have to ask to let her tell me I don´t want to know. And I´m completely comfortable with that.

Monday, February 23, 2009


I've been silent here the last few weeks. Not intentionally nor by chance. Sometimes you just go through your daily routines and at the end of the day have to make a choice where you want to spend the last hour at. Do I write about what I encountered that day or do I leave the time consuming writing to be taken on on another day and choose something easier to entertain myself? My silence was my choice.

We have been making good progress lately. She with feeling more comfortable within her own body and getting back to work fully. I by assessing the effects of the pre-depression for my company. It turns out we have to make adjustments in about 8-12 months. Nothing major I'm predicting but adjustments still.

Another form of silence came about last week when a friend of Nath asked our thoughts on being able to love someone a little less for a period of time and then love fully again a little later. I'm still toying with the idea. I mean I don't measure my love for my partner really. It is there and when not I'm with the wrong partner. But then I have looked at women passing by or been in flirtatious (Kim will check the spelling and usage of the word flirtatious here ;-) )conversation with the female part of our population and did my love at that particular point drop a few levels?

Saturday, January 31, 2009

The past

I couldn't help but chuckle when I read Kim's Myspace blog entry about past dates and relationships. If you have an opportunity to read it, please do. I'm sure it will trigger memories of some of your own experiences. As it turns out I was laughing so much that Hanneke, who's visiting from Oz for a few days, did notice and wanted to know what was so funny.

This was the start for a lively discussion about past bf's and gf's. Nathalie joined in and soon we were wiping tears from our eyes from laughing. Except for the one "boyfriend from the darkest side of hell" our experiences can be described as funny, character building or "one of those dates". I remember one relationship myself that when it ended really hit me hard but looking back was something that shaped me positively. I never came around to thanking Yvonne for that and I will correct that next time I bump into her.

Before I've never really been interested in the past bf's of my partners. I'm a living in the present kind of guy and other then STD's there is not much what those predecessors can bring me. Still we ended up counting our past relationships and not surprisingly (for me at least) I had the fewest. Although my number (11) was more then I thought I would come up with, my current gf (16) and ex-gf (21) clearly have the upper hand. They established (and I'll never, at the same time, argue with two women) that I was not a good representative for the male population and started to defend themselves. This I found somewhat funny because I don't judge them on past bf's or the number of them but they nevertheless felt the need to explain.

Of course for my amusement I let them go on for a little while but eventually had to stop them and point out that for the past 20 years, usually the years you have the most, perhaps experimental, relationships I've spend 18 years with one of them. As both were largely single the years not shared with me it is not more then normal to come up with a higher number of partners.

Anyways it was fun to have the discussion and I'll keep reading blogs for sure.

Btw 1: as males do tend to boast about their past relations and I at least have to show some sort of male genes I do want to ask you: Do I get bonus points for the threesome? *LMAO* (Don't answer that)

Btw 2: Nath's healing proces is going very well and as the two of them went on a shopping trip earlier this week I have the receipts to show it. ;-)

Monday, January 19, 2009


For a little set back due to a small infection Nath is getting back to 100% rather quick. Some stuff is still a no-no but most things she is able to do normally now. Personally that is quite a relief. Not just for the obvious reason of willing your loved ones to feel and be healthy but also for a far more selfish reason that I don't have to take care of her as much. It is gratifying being able to take care of someone but there are reasons why we don't live together etc etc.

For the rest my world is rather small these weeks. Work, sleep and a little poker is pretty much all that's happening. I hope to catch some footage tomorrow of the Obama inauguration so that I at least can say I have some feeling with the outside world. ;-)


Sunday, January 4, 2009

Something silly

Okay I do strange stuff also but that's according to others because for me it is absolutely normal. I, therefor, don't judge behavioural irregularities but I do wonder.

Today I saw a couple making a walk through the neighbourhood. Obviously they had seen the weather report as they were carrying an umbrella but somehow they missed the fact it was really really tiny. You can guess what happened when it started to rain heavily. Both were trying to stay dry but neither managed. When I pointed it out to Nathalie she said I would have handed her the umbrella had it been us. I said: "No Way, I would have brought a bigger one."

One of the little things I notice and wonder about.

Thursday, January 1, 2009

Just a thought

Had I been paranoid I could see a commercial conspiracy (I can see one in almost everything) in developing the calendar as we know it and making January 1st some sort of well wish day.  You can bend over backwards or go all "hallmarky" but in the end it is a simple message that tells your family and friends you want all the best for them and that isn't something limited to one day. It is ongoing and therefor no happy New Year or something like that but like yesterday and probably like tomorrow I wish you and those you care for all the best.