Monday, September 27, 2010

What's a bed?

I posted some short updates here and there but this is how it stands.
1. I have a pinched nerve on the right side of my spinal column (C7 I think for those known with the spine)
2. This causes a muscle at the back of my shoulder to be irritated.
3. Pressure on this muscle (unavoidable when lying down) causes the triceps of my right arm to hurt tremendously.
4. Somehow my right index finger has gone numb. You know, That sleepy feeling without the waking up sensation.
5. Because of the pain in the upper part of the arm I've used the lower part in a way it wasn't used to resulting in a painful elbow and much tension in those muscles.
6. The first batch of medication didn't work as they were targeting inflammation and not pain directly.
7. The new meds I got Friday (Tramadol) purely target the pain so now I'm able to at least be semi-pain free. (50 to 80% is taken away) Since Friday I have been able to catch up on some of the sleep lost. (25 hours of sleep in 7 days drives you mad)

Due to the points 1 to 6 I haven't slept in a bed for 11 days now and probably won't for another couple. I'm getting treatment to unpinch the nerve and get the muscles loose so I'm hoping come this weekend I be able to lay down again.

How I sleep? Well I sorta hang on the couch trying to avoid pressure on the shoulder muscles giving the agony. But I need to support my head in a way it will not fall to one side when I sleep because that causes pain and me to, subsequently, wake up. I won't take pictures but it is a interesting position.

Does this help the pinched nerve? Nope, but in order to really get after that one I need the pain to be gone. Otherwise I will assume positions caused by the pain that are counter-productive to getting that nerve free.

Although I didn't want to admit it affected my mood at the time I now can say I'm in a better place.

More to come I'm sure.

Sunday, September 19, 2010

Fugg

This is neither a post I want to read nor one I want to write.

I've been unable to lay down for two days now. The sleep intermezzo's I've had were short naps while sitting in the most comfortable position on the couch. A position that changes and is not easily to be found. The painkillers surely don't live up to the latter part of their name and I'm fearing the night ahead,

First thing tomorrow is a call to the doctor and chiropractor.....

I just want a few pain free hours so I can get some rest and some sanity back...

All I can say right now is: FUGG!

Saturday, September 11, 2010

Sometimes even I get fed up with it

I know I'm not the most handsome guy out there by quite some margin. I know many see the clothes I wear as boring and uneventful (they're missing the point of that btw). I know I have a partner that is near the top of the gorgeous ladder. I know she dresses adventurous and rather stylish. I know the combination of us often raises one or two eyebrows but......

.....sometimes there is a day where I don't want to answer questions or hear remarks about us. Sometimes I just want to walk hand in hand with her and not be looked at as a some sort of freak show. Sometimes I just want to stand in the middle of the street with her and be anonymous.

I quite often get questions like How did you pull that of? or  What does she see in you? I know not all come from a negative background. Some are more of the admiring kind but it remains an awkward question nevertheless. I seldom grant them an answer if you discard the slight smile I will give.
And when I do answer it usually is a smart remark. Although one I better not use anymore. Had we had a doghouse I would have spend the night there after what I said somehow got back to her. Clearly she isn't after my money *LOL*

I know I shouldn't be bothered by it and I usually can let it slip. But today when walking through Antwerp I was fed up with it and as a response pinched Nath's bum. She didn't mind at all and until she reads this probably didn't know why I did it. But for me that moment felt like defeat. Perhaps you'll think I overreact but staking my claim on what is not mine to claim felt like that to me.

Luckily I usually have a rather long fuse. Her bum could turn blue if I pinched her everytime we came across preying eyes. And we certainly don't want that!


Thursday, September 2, 2010

Memory

When she came in there was clearly something wrong but I know better then to ask.
Eventually, when she feels it is time, she will start talking about it.

**skip 30 minutes**

"I'm so angry with you."

And there it was. Totally clueless as to what I had done to make her angry I just looked at her and waited.

"I ask you to do one thing and one thing only and you don't do it."

Still I couldn't remember what she had asked me to do and forgot. I kept my silence.

"That poor animal didn't get any food all day. And luckily my neighbour heard her miauw in the middle of the night and went looking. She gave her some food."
"I'm sorry to hear that but where do I fit in?"
"Where you fit in? I specifically asked you if you could go over and feed her. That's where you fit in!"
"Hmm, okay. And when did you specifically ask me?"
"When I called you Sunday evening. Is your short term memory going already?"
"Hun, check your calls. We haven't spoken since I left your house on Sunday afternoon. And had we spoken, I would have told you I had a dinner meeting and was unavailable to go over and feed her."
"Are you sure?"

Panic showed on her face. She reached for her phone and started to look at her call history. She looked twice but her face turning red, dark red, gave me the answer. There wasn't a call.

"I'm so sorry. I was sure I had called and asked you. I'm so sorry. I have to make this up to you somehow."
"Make up for what?"
"Make up for the fact I have been mad at you for the entire day."
"I didn't know you were mad at me, so once again: Make up for what?"
"Well.... you may not have known but everyone I spoke to today knows......I need to make that up to you."
"I don't care about those. I do like the concept of making up but once again: Make up for what?"

Slowly she came to realize what I was doing.

"You're playing the short term memory card, right?"

She jumped in my lap and we sorta made up....