Monday, December 26, 2011

Silence

We were a group of six at a dinner party last night but only five took part in conversation. I was there. I ate. I listened. I smiled. I wondered. I drank. I certainly had my thoughts. I looked. I laughed. But I didn't speak.

I didn't plan that. It just happened to be the case. No question was directly put in front of me and nothing was said that would have required me to speak up. Mostly I was just following proceedings. I watched Nathalie fully engaged in the conversation. I will admit I glanced repeatedly at the hostess' décolleté.  Something I shared with Nath by the way, although I don't think she knew I noticed.

But it has to be said. I did enjoy myself tremendously. Not every conversation needs my opinion. Not every conversation needs the swirl of humour I think I can provide. Sometimes all it needs is for me to listen.

When we were leaving I got a hug from Suzanne, the hostess, that must have crushed the so liked décolleté. "You were unnaturally silent tonight. Are you okay?"
"I'm fine. I had a great time. Thank you for having us."
"Will you be there tomorrow?"
"I don't think I will but if you promise to wear the same blouse I might make an effort."
"Too much?"
"No, absolutely not. Just perfect."
I affectionately kissed her on the cheek before I turned and headed out.

Nath caught up with me about half way down. "What did you say? She was blushing all over." "You'll probably read it in the morning but I didn't say much at all tonight."

Monday, December 5, 2011

Selfish

It sounds such a simple question: "Why don't you ask Nathalie to come too?" But for those who know me it is almost a given that a simple question won't be answered with yes or no. So when I answered that it isn't up to me to ask her, eyebrows were raised. Hence the fact that, without waiting for a follow-up question, I started to explain that it would be rather selfish of me to drag her into a situation I knew she wasn't very excited about just so that I could show her off. Just like she won't ask me to go shopping for clothes with her.

Still being greeted with a bewildered look I went on to say that when you love someone you don't ask (pressure) the other to do something you know they don't like. How can you ask that of someone you love when your only argument is that you feel better about yourself? You can't. It is utterly selfish. I know the reasoning that "you want to share time together" and "it will be great" but how can time shared be good or great when one has obviously the desire not to be there.

What I (or we) will do is inform the other about the event and then Nathalie (or I) can offer to come along. 99 out of a 100 times that offer will be followed by "Are you sure?" After which a decision is made. As a result we accompany each other to more functions without any resentment because we chose to be there.